


Dalliance

by boywonder



Category: Kushiel's Legacy - Jacqueline Carey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:38:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boywonder/pseuds/boywonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Lucius finally turned to regard Imriel again. "Kiss me, Imriel. I will ask nothing more of you tonight." There was certainty to his words, and yet to Imriel, they sounded almost like a plea.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>	He wondered, briefly, if there was truly a sense of mercy hidden in Kushiel's rod, but he pushed the thought away again. He could not think that way of Lucius!</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>	"I will kiss you all night if you keep your word and do not ask me for more," he said, foolishly, moving to bring their lips together before the other boy had a chance to answer him.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dalliance

**Author's Note:**

> This is unfinished, though it has a fade to black ending. I've been trying for years to write further, but it won't come, so here we go. Apologies if you are left wanting more.

"Lucius, I cannot do this."

Blue eyes met bluer ones in the dim light, and sparks flew between them. In the end, it was Lucius who lost the battle, and he sighed and rolled over, away from the broody D'Angeline.

"Why _not_ , Imriel? Because you fancy women? If that was the case, then-"

"You know that isn't why," Imriel snapped back, mindless of his attitude. He sat up and stared at the opposite wall, angry with himself for being unable to continue and angry with Lucius for being Lucius.

He ran a hand through his hair and moved away further, intending to leave entirely. Lucius reached out and touched his arm, lightly, and he stopped, though he couldn't say why.

He turned back to the redhead, intending to glare at him, but he found that he couldn't do it.

"Imriel, I'm sorry. I won't push you, I swear it. But give me a _reason_. At least give me something. Even if you lie, at least it will be _something_!"

Imriel wanted, then, to lie to him. He wanted to say he wasn't really attracted to him and that he just wanted to go home. Of course, that was the worst lie, and Lucius would see straight through it. And he would contest it, Imriel knew. The boy could have argued that the sun was made of glass if he saw fit to, and Imriel was in no mood to get him going.

"Lucius, I simply can't. It isn't you, it isn't that I don't want you, it's..."

Darsânga. He couldn't tell Lucius. It was true, that he knew Lucius would listen, and perhaps he'd even offer his own brand of slightly cynical sympathy. It might even be genuine, after all they'd been through. But no, he would not tell Lucius. Mayhap one day, but not now.

"There is too much to tell you, Lucius. I want you. Elua! I do. But I can't allow this! I'm..."

Lucius suddenly realized what it was that Imriel was thinking he wanted. He sat up and placed his hand on the other boy's mouth, silencing him.

"You have me guessed wrong, Imriel," he said, softly.

Imriel stared back at him, uncomprehending. Lucius' mouth twitched, but he didn't say anything uncalled for.

"If you think _I_ wanted to take _you_ , you were quite wrong," he said, a smile still playing on his face.

Imriel's jaw actually dropped a little. His mind raced, thinking of the implications of what Lucius had said. Why he hadn't realized that small fact before, he did not know. His own memories and dark thoughts had scared him into thinking he _had_ to submit, somehow, if he lay with another man]. Of course, he didn't. And, knowing Lucius, he _should_ have thought of it.

Lucius' hand moved, letting his thumb trace the full line of Imriel's bottom lip before falling away again.

Imriel looked into his eyes again and felt desire hit, stronger than it had even when they'd kissed earlier. He felt that tide rise inside him suddenly, and pulled Lucius toward him.

Their mouths met, and Imriel felt his hands tangle in the other boy's hair. Lucius made a small sound into his mouth, but he did not protest. Their tongues danced, with Imriel leading, and Lucius finally brought his arms back up around Imriel's neck.

The D'Angeline's hand tightened again in the other boy's hair, and he felt the tide intensify. He knew, again, that this could _not_ continue. This was not Valerian House, and Lucius had endured enough tortures. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting someone that he was supposed to _love_. He wouldn't allow that to happen, and he forced himself to let go and pull away.

"No. No! Lucius, don't ask me for this. You don't know what I could _do_ to you!" he said, heatedly, though his words were scarce above a whisper.

Lucius glared at him, and opened his mouth to spout some sharp-tongued insult at him. But he found something in Imriel's eyes that silenced him, and he dropped his gaze.

"Ah, all right. All right! I said I would not press you, and I will keep my word," he said, pulling his arms back. His fingers trailed along Imriel's arms as he pulled away, and it was suddenly hard for Imriel to continue to deny himself this pleasure.

He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, and watched Lucius cross his arms. He saw the look on the other boy's face become far away, and he saw the lines etched into his pretty face a little clearer. It was something he'd grown used to, since the spirit of Gallus Tadius had finally left. Lucius was not haunted any longer, in the real sense, but there were times that his eyes were, perhaps, more haunted than they had been before. 

Although Imriel knew it was not on purpose, he felt anger rise in him because of that withdrawn, far-off look. He knew he could take his anger out on Lucius and enjoy it, and the possible consequences be _damned_! But no. No, he should not. He _would_ not!

_I will try to be good._

"Do not leave me, Imriel," Lucius said, and his voice seemed as far away as his eyes.

Imriel's anger faded, though not as much as he would have liked, and he sighed again. "I will not," he promised, though he knew he should.

Lucius smiled thinly and lay back again, his red hair spilling around him on the pillow. Imriel looked down at him and wished he could give him everything. He loved Lucius; he had told him as much. He had warned him that he was a failure as a lover, and Lucius had laughed it off and argued that everyone was a failure at love in some way. Really, Lucius simply _was_ an argument waiting - no, _begging_ \- to happen.

Imriel lay next to him, at length, on his side. He didn't want to look away from Lucius, really. He didn't like that far-off look, or the way the redhead's features strained when he withdrew like that. This time, there was no anger, only worry that it was Lucius that would leave him.

_You will find it and lose it, again and again._

He knew he could not stay here forever. They each had their own duties, and they were both hiding from them. But in the wake of the war that had nearly destroyed everything Lucius loved, and indeed, Lucius himself, no one had bothered to say anything to them.

Lucius finally turned to regard Imriel again. "Kiss me, Imriel. I will ask nothing more of you tonight." There was certainty to his words, and yet to Imriel, they sounded almost like a plea.

He wondered, briefly, if there was truly a sense of mercy hidden in Kushiel's rod, but he pushed the thought away again. He could not think that way of Lucius!

"I will kiss you all night if you keep your word and do not ask me for more," he said, foolishly, moving to bring their lips together before the other boy had a chance to answer him.

Lucius' mouth was warm and yielding, perhaps even more so than Imriel had been expecting, and he felt himself drowning in the kiss. Their arms found their way around each other of their own accord, and the kiss lasted for what seemed like forever. They parted once, twice, and again, needing to breathe, but the kiss was not _broken_.

Finally, Imriel pulled his face away, just enough to look at Lucius. He wasn't far away _now_ , of course. Imriel found the passion there that he thought he hadn't seen, and he _wanted_. A part of him knew, without ever needing to ask, that he could make Lucius beg for him. He knew that Lucius could take more pain than he looked able to. He knew that he might enjoy it in a way that was surely unbecoming of a Caerdicci prince. All of this, he saw without seeing as he looked into Lucius' eyes. And he knew, then, that though he should not continue this...he was going to. He was going to continue this until he either went too far or Lucius did. One of them, he was sure, would cross an unspoken line and ruin the whole affair. But for the time being, he would continue it. _Consequences be damned_.

Imriel let his hand slide between their bodies as he lowered his mouth once more to Lucius'. He ran his hand along the other boy's body, wincing internally at how thin Lucius _really_ was. He wondered how often Gallus Tadius had actually bothered to eat. Perhaps he was better off not knowing.

Lucius shivered under him and jerked his mouth away. "Imriel, do not tease me!"

Imriel let his nails rake along the other boy's flesh at that, very lightly, and told him, "I'm not."

Lucius moved to sit up, to pull away, but Imriel leaned farther over and would not let him. "Lucius, when I said I wanted you, it was not a lie."

"But you said you could not. You are contradicting yourself," Lucius said. Imriel could hear that tone in his voice, the cocky prince tone. The one that meant that he was right and the world was wrong, and nothing was going to convince him otherwise. How he _hated_ that tone.

He glared down at Lucius. "I don't care," he said, annoyed, and kissed him again, roughly this time.

Lucius was anything but imperceptive. He noticed the change in Imriel right away, though he had no chance to remark on it before the other boy's tongue was deeper in his mouth than before. He thought about pulling away and continuing the argument, but if Imriel was really going to go ahead with this, then who was he to argue it? It _was_ what he'd wanted.

The kiss was fierce and deep and a hundred other things they had both been wanting in a hundred ways. Imriel's hand moved between them again, sliding over to Lucius' hip and tightening there a little too much. He felt the other boy arch into the touch anyway, and a thrill shot through him, lighting a fire he had been ignoring since the night in Valerian House. He wondered if Lucius was aware of using pain and pleasure as one in the same. Really, he didn't know too much about the other boy, did he? He certainly didn't know what he liked in bed. He wasn't actually sure he _cared_ , in the end. He would find out what he needed to know tonight, he was sure.


End file.
